I think pain sometimes enhances empathy, but sometimes it has the opposite effect, making people self-centered and even more convinced of the centrality of their own needs to the exclusion of those of others. Gay Marriage Debate Riddled With Bad Assumptions
When it comes to bias I am often astounded how people can often very eloquently discuss the pain of their discrimination and yet be completely oblivious to their own biases, and to the pain of discrimination that is felt by others. I have watched in puzzlement as blacks are racist against Hispanics and Hispanics against blacks, while both groups are working against a system that is very biased against both of them. I have listened to white women bemoan the woes of sexism and then look completely blank when I bring up discrimination against blacks. I have observed people fight and get angry when gays are discriminated against, but yet not put out a whimper when a black person is shot for no good reason other than the color of their skin.
I see this again and again and it never gets any less puzzling to me. I watch the debate over gay marriage and just shake my head in amazement at the hypocrisy on all sides. The one that is most interesting to me is the racism vs gay marriage issue. I did not write racism vs homophobia, because I don’t believe that being against gay marriage is exactly the same as being homophobic. In the manner that not everyone against affirmative action is against if for racist reasons.
I find that many that support the gay rights movement do not always join in the battle against racism, and the fact that apparently, some blacks supporting equal rights were called nigger by some gays during anti prop 8 rallies indicates that there might be some problem of bias against blacks in that community. And there is most likely a similar problem in the black community when it comes to gays.
What is interesting is that while blacks may not predominantly support the gay lifestyle, or gay marriage, they more than whites do not support discrimination against gays in the workplace and other similar cases of discrimination. Thus it seems that they don’t see gay marriage as a civil right in the way they see being able to work as a civil right.
To compound this, there seems to be a struggle between the gay community and the religious community and many blacks have a very strong religious culture. Many forget that it is out of the black churches that the civil rights movement was born. This is something the gay community needs to understand while attempting to get support in some parts the black community.
There is also the assumption that all blacks think alike and march to the same drum, but it should be recalled that there are many black gays, lesbians and transvestites, (although if you look at the adds promoting gay rights you would never know 
) and there are many blacks like myself that really don’t see the reason why gays can’t get married. I see gays as just another community and see no earthly reason that they should not be allowed to marry.
I will say this vocally and given the chance I will vote in favor of gay marriage. However, do I see this as the most pressing civil rights issue of our time? No I don’t. I don’t see that white gays are getting inferior treatment in hospitals, dying disproportionately of treatable diseases, getting higher interest loans than they should, being incarcerated at rates higher than the national average or not doing well in school. I see many gays on TV and their characters are fully fleshed out and they are well represented in the media. I think there are many civil rights issues that face gays, including on the job discrimination, violence and harassment. These are similar issues that are faced by many minorities and women. Yet I also know that if a white male chooses not to disclose their sexual orientation, that they don’t have to face these issues. This type of breathing room is not afforded women or minorities.
Those that support gay rights are going to make very little inroads with some in the black community, if they continue to mock and ridicule religion. Religion is often all many blacks had to survive slavery, segregation and racism. To do so and then be surprised that blacks don’t support the gay community is a little disingenuous. It is not religion that is the problem here, it is bigotry and if the gay community can re frame the argument accordingly they will find more support in the black community.
I have found a few very interesting articles on the subject:
Gay Marriage Debate Riddled With Bad Assumptions : NPR
I am a perfect example of why the fight against Proposition 8, which amends the state Constitution to ban same-sex marriage, failed to win black support.
I am black. I am a political activist who cares deeply about social justice issues. I am a lesbian. This year, I canvassed the streets of South Los Angeles and Compton, knocking on doors, talking politics to passers-by and working as I never had before to ensure a large voter turnout among African Americans. But even I wasn’t inspired to encourage black people to vote against the proposition.
The right to marry does nothing to address the problems faced by both black gays and black straights.
GREGORY B. LEWIS AbstractBlack homophobia has been cited as a contributing factor in slowing mobilization against AIDS in the African-American community, as an obstacle to black lesbians and gay men in coming to terms with their sexuality, and as a challenge to the legitimacy of the gay rights movement. Yet evidence that blacks are more homophobic than whites is quite limited. This article uses responses from almost seven thousand blacks and forty-three thousand whites in 31 surveys conducted since 1973 to give more definitive answers on black-white attitudinal differences and their demographic roots. Despite their greater disapproval of homosexuality, blacks’ opinions on sodomy laws, gay civil liberties, and employment discrimination are quite similar to whites’ opinions, and African Americans are more likely to support laws prohibiting antigay discrimination. Once religious and educational differences are controlled, blacks remain more disapproving of homosexuality but are moderately more supportive of gay civil liberties and markedly more opposed to antigay employment discrimination than are whites. Yet religion, education, gender, and age all have weaker impacts on black than on white attitudes, suggesting that black and white attitudes have different roots.
White LGBT folk need to learn about race and racism, especially their own. There’s just no excuse for rally-goers at a No on 8 rally dropping the N-bomb on black people, and the fact that these particular black people happened to also be gay and carrying “No on 8″ signs makes the whole thing even more absurd and inexcusable. In addition to that kind of overt racism (which, I thought we were over and was a myth anyway, but I digress) is just part of what LGBT white folks need to educate themselves about. While some prominent white queer people have denounced overt racism, they could also stand to learn a little about inclusion. According to Daily Voice blogger Rod McCollum, there was not one black LGBT couple in any of the “no on 8″ ads. Not one.
At some point we have to move our focus away from our own pain and start looking around at the pain of others around us. If we ignore their pain, the we can’t be surprised if when we want them by our side they turn away and say “Sorry, you are on your own!”
Filed under: Race relations, controversial, religion | Tagged: gay marriage, homophobia, racism
